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personal story

    You'll see no faces and no names of gay East
    Africans on this website.  It isn't safe!
Personal Story No. 1
Gay and Christian in
KENYA, UGANDA,
TANZANIA, RWANDA
AND BURUNDI
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This website was constructed in July of 2007
Visits made to this web page since August 2007
From Childhood through High School

    Christian, sociable, smart
    I am a Kenyan man aged 27. I come from a rather strong
    Christian background. I have grown up as a strong Christian. I
    went to a mixed day Primary school where I was known to be a
    social boy. I was also very smart in class. I performed so well
    especially in art subjects.

    "… I had so many girl's behaviors ..."
    Although I was known to be social, I knew that something was
    peculiar with me. I loved to be associated with girls but only as
    one of them. I felt that I had so many girl's behaviors.
    Additionally, never was I attracted to girls sexually even when I
    got to adolescence stage. I always admired boys rather than
    girls. I liked touching, holding and staying closer to  boys but not
    girls. When I was in upper primary grades I kept away from girls
    who tried to push their way into my sexual life. Never did I sleep
    with any girl despite many opportunities that always presented
    themselves.

    "…I could not approach my parents about this…not even my
    teachers…"
    I was, as well, known to be a disciplined boy. I never fought. I
    was never aggressive. I was very obedient. I never missed a
    Sunday church Service any day as far as I can remember. I was
    always curious about my sexual orientation but could not talk to
    anyone about it. Every other boy talked as if the only orientation
    that existed was hetero. I could not approach my parents about
    this considering the fact that my culture does not have a room
    for sexual sharing between parents and their children (even now,
    I cannot scandalize them with this kind of news!!!). I could not
    even imagine of saying it out to any of my teachers...what would
    they think of me. My friends knew my girlish behaviors and in
    fact some called me a woman (in my mother tongue). I felt bad
    about it but what could I do...report someone to the teacher for
    calling me a woman? Nevertheless, I appreciated the nickname
    because to some point I wished I was girl.

    High school boarding school
    I attended a boarding, mixed (both boys and girls) high school. I
    was also very active as a Christian and was a school headboy. It
    was almost natural that boys had to have (special)girlfriends.
    Funny how I did not seriously commit myself to a girl-boy
    relationship despite of being a school prefect, whom many girls
    presented with CVs!!

Life as a Christian Gay Man in Kenya

    "…I could not be sure that I was on the right path..."
    I slowly came to unravel the reality that lay beneath myself.
    Through reading of magazines and books that talked about
    gays I got to know that it was OK to be the way I am. I realized
    that there was more than just one sexual orientation. But despite
    that glimpse I could not be sure that I was on the right path since
    I did not hear students or teachers talk much about it. Some
    boys were known to be 'climbing each other' at night but I did not
    associate with them or share with them my feelings because they
    looked irresponsible and much careless about studies and life in
    general.

    My faith, women and "I waited for any man to come into my
    life…"
    After high school I became even more strong in my faith. Let me
    say I have always been  admired by girls (responsible and
    beautiful ones). Many of them tried to present their CVs
    indirectly but I knew how to evade them. I waited for any man to
    come to my life but with no avail.

    "…I accepted myself…"
    Eventually, I got a chance to go through some Philosophy,
    Theology, Psychology, Studies on Counseling, Psychology tests,
    and a lot of mental, physical and spiritual exposure. It is during
    this time I not only came to clearly know that I am a gay, but I
    also accept myself as such.

    I'm Ok with being gay and Christian, but Preachers do not
    care about gays
    I have not had problems integrating my orientation with my
    Christianity. However, being in an adamantly rigid Church things
    are not swift. Preachers do their job without caring whether there
    exists gays in the Church. Others preach against us. They even
    use the Bible to teach that God did not create any gay!!! They
    make me to wonder, who created me? Not the same God? What
    amazes me is how even the most educated clergy preach as if
    their education never liberalized their thinking!

    I'm not  able to tell close women friends that I'm gay
    Another challenge for me is women. You see, there are those
    moments when women come so close that I have always to find a
    way of avoiding getting into the gay issue. I, so far, would not be
    comfortable if everyone knew that I was a gay. It is not so sweet
    here in Kenya.

    If my parents knew they would consider me "worthless …
    bewitched"
    Another problem is breaking this kind of news to the parents. To
    some of our communities, including mine, such a person, like
    me, is worthless and is considered as one who has been
    bewitched. I feel that It would not be good to spoil the already
    good relationship that exists between them and me. Well, I think
    we are so many miles backward concerning the issue of gay
    freedom.

Meeting Other Gay Christians in Kenya through Other
Sheep

    Unable to meet other gays in Kenya
    I stayed for a long time without finding a way to meet other gays
    in my country and the rest of the world. Until recently Jose and
    Steve (of Other Sheep) went on air in one of the radio stations in
    Kenya. A friend of mine who had more information about them
    explained to me where they were and what they were about.

    Happy now, having met other gay Christians
    My happiness so far is a consequence of meeting a number of
    Christian guys through Other Sheep whom I can depend on
    when it comes to Sharing about life. What matters most in life is
    being understood and being accepted! Or, does not love begin
    at the level of appreciation?

    "My message to all gays…"
    My message to all gays is that this is the time to be who we were
    created to be: gays. We can only be who we are now because
    that is who we are now.

    A personal note to Steve and Jose of Other Sheep
    Bravo Steve and Jose! You are the first gay couple I have ever
    encountered in my life. Can you imagine that? I hope there can
    be such freedom here in Kenya to the extent of allowing gay
    marriages.

    We love you so much!!! Keep on keeping on. Many thanks.
    Prayers.
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"I have other sheep that
are not of this fold.  I
must bring them in
also."John 10:16
Photo at right:
Gays telling their stories
to one antoher in the
Nairobi gated apartment
complex  where Steve
and Jose were staying.
Jose Ortiz, Other
Sheep Coordinator
for Africa
Steve Parelli, Other
Sheep Executive Director
Above photes:

Top Picture
Jose is leading one of the
many discussion groups
that met in our apartment.

Bottom Picture
Steve is teaching the
power point presentation
on the Bible and
Homosexuality from his
lap top.

Nairobi, Kenya
July, 2007
Who Can I Tell?  My parents? My teachers?
Even preachers don't care

Kenyan Man, Age 27
Submitted July 26, 2007  

I could not approach my parents about this ... not even
my teachers.  ... Preachers do not care
about gays.  I'm happy now having met other gay Christians
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Why you'll
see no
pictures and
no names of
gay East
Africans on
this website:
"In October
2006, a local
newspaper
published a list of
names of
suspected gays
and lesbians. The
gay rigths group
says several
people whose
names appeared
on the list lost
jobs and were
mistreated by
their families."

    VISIT Steve and Jose!
    Visit the Other Sheep web site of  the Executive
    Director, Steve Parelli (at right in photo), and his
    partner Jose Ortiz.
Counter
Meet us
under the
acacia tree
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